When I was in my summer season of life I interviewed with IBM for a sales position. One of the questions that I was asked was "what is the difference between rejection and refusal". My response was that rejection was something that was personal and refusal was just not wanting what was being offered.
I think that it is easy to confuse the two in life because both may make you feel bad. Your self esteem takes a blow. For a minute, lets take a look at the difference between the two. If I tell you no and you believe that it is because I don't like you or don't want what you have to offer, what does that really mean. In business it is mostly a refusal, there can be a lot of reasons or circumstances as to why you were told no. Sometimes in business it is personal but mostly it just feels personal in business. If you have ever worked in sales, if you take every "no" as a rejection you will become too sad to even think about selling. It would bruise your spirit so that the idea of "asking " for the sale would become unbearable.
Now the feeling of rejection is always personal. The intent of the other person may or may not be personal. In life, I have had been loved and I have not been able to return that love. I know that the person may have felt rejected but for me it was a refusal. I was just saying "no". It didn't mean that the person wasn't worthy. Sometimes it was really all about me. I wasn't ready, the timing wasn't right, the path wasn't clear for me to see us together. I have also been on the opposite end of the stick where I have loved and the love was not returned. I felt very rejected. In retrospect what I realized that the "fit" between that person and myself wasn't there. Sometimes when I have strong feelings I can become blind to the obvious. My rational mind goes out the window and I just become emotionally obtuse to the facts.
I have learned, in my life, that everyone gets to say "no". That someone's "no" may just be what you need to move you to a better path. I didn't get that job with IBM but I did get a sales job that was a better fit for my lifestyle. That initial question is something that I have always asked myself, when I am feeling dejected. I have to remind myself that people have the right to say no and you have the right to determine whether you want to make this an opportunity to grow or do you want to feel sad. After all it is your life.
Thanks for the experience! Enjoyed what you have to say. Will be coming for more Personal Development.
Posted by: D. More | 07/12/2011 at 07:16 PM